Monkeys and Volcanic Lakes...

Well, we just got back from our weekend adventure to one of Nicaragua's most pristine areas, Lake Apoyo, the largest volcanic lake in Central America. Nestled between dingy Managua and picturesque Granada, Lake Apoyo is set high in the foothills of the mountain range that divides the Nicaraguan capitals, new and old. With warm turquoise blue water, surrounding hardwood forests, and a healthy tourist infrastructure, I almost forgot completely about Managua for a day or so.

We stayed at the resort, Hotel Narome, ............. taking advantage of the close proximity to the lake and hiking trails, hoping to catch a glimpse of the two species of monkeys that make their home there. Feeling like monkeys ourselves, we spent the first couple hours at the pool, gorging ourselves on fruit and watching the odd mixture of gringos and Nicas, interacting at this scenic hideaway. Much to our dismay, there was a large wedding taking place (which the management failed to mention when booking the room) that absorbed much of the attention of the wait staff. Therefore, our endeavor to lounge like bloated monkeys was made somewhat more difficult.

Fortunately, Apoyo offers a respite from the heat of the lower lying areas of Nicaragua. So, I actually felt a sub 80 degree breeze for the first time in over 6 months! At any rate, the food and atmosphere were unremarkable, but pleasant. Of course, for Brodie, all of this was a grand adventure, and he was tuckered out early in the evening, which gave Kim and I a rare opportunity to play Scrabble (which I lost, due in part to being stuck with the Q late in the game) At any rate, it was fun, reminiscent of our honeymoon in Spain, when we were 'gaming junkies'.

Perhaps the most memorable aspect of the short trip to Apoyo was the morning hike. Following a hearty American breakfast, we ventured up into the foothills, searching for the two species of monkeys found in the area, the howler monkey and some other non-descript white monkey that resembles a little squirrel. Following a surprisingly well-marked trail, we heeded the warnings at the trailhead, in the form of encyclopedic details of the indigenous reptiles, amphibians, and mammals that call Apoyo home. After a brief study of jaguars, coral snakes, boa constrictors, monkeys, and whatnot, we set off on the trail. Although the hike itself proved to be uneventful, the journey itself was peaceful and interesting, a metaphor of life at times I guess. More importantly, Brodie completed his first hike with us, in what I hope to be many, many more. He absolutely loved it. The sense of adventure brought about by wilderness hiking was not lost on him, and he was truly impressed.

After our hike, we settled down, returning to the pool for a brief period, before returning back to the grind of Managua. Before our return, I was summoned to represent my country in a fun, yet competitive game of pool volleyball. All the gringos were to battle the Nicas, with the losers dancing poolside to the latest steamy Latin beats....how humiliating! Luckily, our team looked like we'd just returned from going mountain biking, while the Nica side looked like they'd come out of a Ryan's Steakhouse feed. So...in the end, I made my country proud, although I was forced to watch obese Nica men without shirts, dancing like Beyonce. Oh well, a small price to pay for serving U.S. diplomacy.

Goin' Fishin'....Nica Style

Nicaragua is a land of much water. Like Coleridge once said, 'water, water, everywhere....'. That is Nicaragua. Both the Atlantic and Pacific oceans are highly accessible. There are two enormous lakes (Lake Managua and Lake Nicaragua), the largest two in Central America, not to mention the San Juan del Sur river, bordering Costa Rica. Famous for freshwater lake sharks and world-class tarpon, this is an angler's paradise.

So, remembering to 'make lemonade out of lemons', I've decided to approach my 'time' here differently. A new perspective perhaps. And what better way to do this than to go fishing. Moreover, Leonel, our gardener explained a new method of fishing that he feels will reap huge rewards. We won't even have to leave the house! How can that be? What do you mean, you don't have to leave the house? Well, I'm talking about Iguana fishing. I say this with a capital 'I' because they're more like the Komodo dragons of the Western world. You've heard of the 'cat on the hot tin roof'...well, we have the 'miniature komodo dragon on the hot clay roof'

At night, I generally try to enjoy the television, read, or engage in other activities, deluding myself into thinking that I'm not in Central America. As you can imagine, hearing large reptiles slithering on my roof doesn't help matters. So, beginning tomorrow morning, Leonel and I are going fishin' for Komodo Dragons. He has devised the following plan (which I wholeheartedly endorse...simple brilliance!)

1. find rod and reel...preferably bass tackle, 8-12 lb. test line
2. prepare bare hook...again, imagining this is a largemouth bass with legs. for bait, we have determined that hot dogs would make a good iguana snack.
3. sit in lounge chair and start fishin'.
4**tell josefa to prepare, either in a stew or fried...perhaps both, depending on size.

**contingent on the success of 1-3

If all goes well, I can post Iguana recipes and photos of the feast. Well, I gotta go prepare my tackle and beer cooler.

Managua Town

Yesterday, I felt sick to my stomach. No, I wasn't coming down with the flu. I hadn't been poisoned by bad gallo pinto or toxic tamales. It was a shameful pain, a reminder of what's not right in this world.

It started out innocently enough. You must know, Latin America has different values than what we are accustomed to. Some better, some worse. For example, I have great respect for the amount of time and attention spent on pedadogy...child-rearing, healthy physical relationships, fashion and many other aspects of 'cultura latina'.

However, I have never seen such lavish, grotesque manifestations of wealth in my life as what I witnessed yesterday. As is the custom with preschool age kids, birthday parties are celebrated with great fanfare....cakes, cookies, singing, pin the tail on the donkey, etc...We've all been there right? Well, you haven't seen anything until you've been to a 'Nica 4 Year Old Party'!!

Where do I begin? The single-malt scotch....or the parachute jump ride that belongs at Six Flags. Or maybe, the legion of ponies, an ice cream franchise shutting down their store in order to cater to this 4 year old princess. I haven't even mentioned the pinata, or the Al Pacino lookalike crook father that undoubtedly robbed his countrymen for such a life. I've been to weddings, even New Year's parties, that had less booze than this affair! The only thing I can liken it to is a Kentucky Derby gala.

At any rate, the pauper Americans arrived with their pathetic little gift of Play Doh and second rate designer clothes. The nerve, not to have hand-tailored clothes and a specially made costume for my son! As we were greeted by an army of servants, doling out party favors, and whatnot, I got the sinking feeling that this would be a long day. Luckily, Arantxa (Mateo's Mom) was there. We sat around and watched the spectacle unfold.....Nicaragua's elite of the elite at play. News cameras were there documenting the affair, servants wore pensive smiles, and bronzed, beautiful people, seemingly from another planet, enjoyed the fine February Nica winter. We could've just as well been in Malibu, Nice, or the Hamptons. But...sadly, we are in Nicaragua

Nicaragua, you see, is the second poorest country on the western half of the planet. Only hellish Haiti is poorer. Over 70% of Nicaragua's 5 million people live in abject poverty, existing on less than a dollar a day. There are all kinds of statistical ways of describing the squalor, but until you actually see it for yourself, the vacant stare in the eyes of people that have no hope, you really can't comprehend the misery. Driving around Managua, you'll immediately notice bands of window washers, hawkers, and other 'entrepreneurs'. Not unlike many other parts of the world, for sure, Managua is a rough and tumble city. At any rate, the point is not how poor the country, or capital is. It's the absurdism of it all.

You know, just watching these Nicas, wealthy beyond belief, and knowing how little is being given back to society, it pains me. There is no other big point. I'm just sad....That's all...

Reading Time and Other Thoughts...

It's been awhile since I last made a contribution to this blog. Things have been somewhat busy here in Managua. Kim has been sick a lot, and I've been dedicating a lot of my time to working out and my Google job. Since the Gators won the National Championship, I've been like a dog that got a hold of some spare ribs and spends a long time resting under an oak tree, content as can be. I've been half-interested in all things 'sport', preferring to watch (over and over) the DVD of the game that Mike so graciously sent to me.

Well, Kim and I are trying to get back to reading more now. We couldn't have picked two more different books. Unfortunately, I picked the clunker of the bunch.

Marley and Me
Let me start out by saying, Kim recommended this book to me, as she read it shortly after Stella decided to come live with us. So, I thought it'd be a good idea to give it a shot as well, you know, a little reinforcement and empathy regarding the upbringing of hyper labrador retrievers. So, basically the story goes like this.... A young married couple contemplating life with children, decides to buy a dog to determine whether they are well suited for parenthood. They then proceed to hand over the keys to the kingdom to a labrador puppy, all the while, in supposed awe of why their dog is so unruly. I've never read such spineless drivel in all my life. At one point, they just shrug it off when Marley escapes her pen and claws all the way through the drywall of the house, ripping out electrical wires and whatnot. It seemingly never occurred to them to put a padlock on the cage!

This book drones on and on, with no point, other than the obvious nature in which more and more American adults cede their lives to would-be subordinate creatures (dogs, children, plants, whatever...) A recent study was conducted that showed how marraige failure rates directly correspond to unhealthy parent-child focus, and not enough on the two grown adults that brought he/she into the world. I buy into this theory wholeheartedly. In my view, you can heap lavish amounts of time and energy on a child, but without the bedrock foundation of husband and wife, it is like the shifting sands of instability. Ok, I digress....Suffice it to say, I wasn't a big fan of Marley and Me! It was one of the rare occasions that I didn't even finish the book. Heck, and I actually read all of Canterbury Tales!

Various Positions: A Life of Leonard Cohen
Well, this one sounds good in theory. A much needed biography of Canada's erstwhile poet laureate, turned folk-singer. The 'maestro of melancholy', or 'Canadian Bob Dylan', Cohen is one fascinating character. Born in the 1930s in an upper-class Montreal world, he eschews the 'easy life', becomes an acclaimed poet, spending the next 25 years or so in self-imposed exile on the island of Hydra (off the coast of Greece). Tortured by depression, drug addiction, and other problems, he decides that he'll become a rock star, not before converting to Buddhism (Jewish by birth, and well versed in both Christianity and Judaism) With a true gift of the pen, Cohen puts his words to music, and in his mid-thirties, becomes a musical celebrity of sorts. Oh yeah, I failed to mention his addiction to women, always the sign of a good poet! hahahaha....

As for the book...Well, the book is too scholarly. That is, it was written by a scholar, seeking to critique the iambic pentameter and ancient Judiac influence on Cohen's lyrical poems. There isn't enough 'and then Leonard went to the bar and met Rebecca De Mourney...'. I believe there is a time and place for critique....But, the more interesting story, at least in my view, is the psyche of a man that wrote such depressingly beautiful music. Personally, I haven't read it yet, but based on the 'debriefing' that I've received from Kim, I know which parts to read and which parts to avoid. Just by merely hearing about it secondhand, I've been inspired to learn the music for several of his songs. Unfortunately (or fortunately as it may be), I am not convincing in my melancholy voice. Oh well....one of these days, I'll learn to play some music that is actually happy. haahahahaa.

Well, there you have it. Kim got the better end of the deal. I've been inspired to go write some poetry or something.

For those of you that know me, know that I love the Blues, particularly acoustic 'Country Blues'. Well, one of my revised life goals is to be able to play 'Country Blues' (ahem...with some singing as well) At any rate, the above video is a classic about a bad woman, 'Crow Jane' (I have to tell you that, as I can't sing it yet!)

This one is 'Coffee Blues', also known as 'Lovin' Spoonful'. Mississippi John Hurt does an incredible version of it. As you will see, I don't know how to properly 'end' songs yet....it just tends to come crashing down, with missed notes and other 'signs' that I should probably go grab a beer and watch TV for awhile.

Finally, another by Mississippi John Hurt, 'Ain't Nobody's Dirty Business'. I actually sing a little on this one! Anyways, now you all know what I've been doing with my free time. I've re-dedicated my life to the blues...

Shock and Awe...Urban Warfare In The Desert!

GATORS WIN. NATIONAL CHAMPS ONCE AGAIN!!!!!

That has to be my favorite football game of all-time. From a purely selfish standpoint, it couldn't have gone any better had I scripted it. It was like when I used to play Atari football when I was a kid, manipulating both joysticks, so the 'blue guys' could dominate the 'red guys.' I would pretend that the blue team was Florida, while the red team was the Dawgs. Well....last night, they were the Buckeyes...

After the opening kickoff TD, two thoughts quickly raced into my head. First, and foremost, I was afraid that Ohio State was going to match the Gators speed and play more physically. Ted Ginn sure made everyone look slow on that play. The other, lesser thought, running around in my noggin was, maybe this play is an anomoly. I remember a Florida-Miami game when Zook was coach, when Devin Hester returned the opening kickoff for a touchdown, and Florida went on to completely dominate...(only to ultimately lose in grand-Zook fashion.) Anyways, I can't talk about Zook right now! Simply put, Ohio State had no answer for Florida's defensive line...They were too quick, like bookends firing through the line every snap. Florida had too many weapons, and it was an ugly, ugly game for objective viewers. I can't really articulate much more right now, but suffice it to say, I will probably never enjoy a blowout football game any more than the one I witnessed last night. I sure hope Urban Meyer doesn't want anything to do with the NFL!

Signing Day for recruiting promises to be a fun one this year..........

Happy New year

Well...New Year's just isn't complete until Notre Dame loses their bowl game. Some folks like to celebrate with Dick Clark, others prefer silly parties with amateur revelers (you know, people that imbibe on 2 holidays and a birthday all year long....who wants to get tangled in Tanquerey with that person?!)....I digress....

Oh yeah, so...here it is 1/03, and I'm still talking about New Year's. That's because New Year's isn't complete without the ghost of Knute Rockne and a disappointing showing for the Golden Domers. Right now, it is 41-14, and it could very well get uglier. With under 5 minutes, LSU can't quite run the clock out just yet.

In other news, Daniel Ortega is poised to take over the presidency of Nicaragua in about a week. On January 10, the transition back to Sandinistan socialism will begin in earnest. With promises of 'peace, reconciliation, and cooperation with the U.S.', Ortega claims to be a changed man. Since leading a cadre of youths in the 1979 Somoza overthrow, and a subsequent dark decade of civil war, destruction, and economic stagnation, Ortega has been laying low....a snake in the grass, if you will, in Nicaraguan politics. Following the disastrous Lobster Revolution and civil war (50,000 dead in a country of a little over 5 million....proportionate to the U.S., that equals roughly the devastation of the American Civil War a century ago), he was defeated in 1990 elections, and peacefully relenquished power, vowing to return. Well, not unlike MacArthur, he has returned! .....[speaking of devastation, it's official, Notre Dame's coach is denied a January Gatorade bath yet again!!]

Where was I?....Oh, yeah. So, Ortega is promising change. We'll see. As for how all this affects me, I don't see a real change in my life. But, I don't think the people will tolerate a return to the past. Ortega won his victory with around 40% of the popular vote. He has a pretty solid base of voters; young people, pensioners, the poor,basically all the disenfranchised Nicaraguans, folks with nothing to lose. Because of the great land grabs of the 80s, many of these poor folks are poised to claim their '40 acres and a mule' (to borrow the Lincolnian phrase). On the other end of this deal is whose '40 acres' is going to be redistributed. Not to say that it will happen, but one must expect a certain segment of the populace to test the 'new Ortega'. So, the million-dollar (literally) question is, will Ortega empathize with the land grabbers, or will he prove to foreign investors that Nicaragua is a stable country with respect for international law.

We shall see....